With Friends Like This. . .

Well, I guess you left me with some feathers in my hand
Did it make it any easier to leave me where I stand?
-Counting Crows, Angels of the Silences

Well. . .that was fun. Fair warning. . .Gonzo's going to work a little on the blue side for this entry, so if you don't like the naughty language, you might want to leave for a bit.

So I'm minding my own business at work on Tuesday, when an e-mail comes into my mailbox from my ex-training partner. The contents of the e-mail were as follows:

SSgt Gates,

Please don't be offended, but I can no longer work out with you. Honestly your staring at me has been bothering me a lot.

Really.

Let's break down just how ludicrous this is, shall we?

First off, I love it when people start e-mails out with phrases like "please don't be offended." Why? Because you know damn well that immediately after those words, you're going to see something offensive. It's sort of like "promise you won't be angry." Like if you go up to someone and say, "Promise you won't be angry, but I fucked your sister." They're gonna be angry.

Second, apparently I'm some sort of pervert now. Which I find absolutely amazing. . .after the stories I've been told about people looking down my ex-workout partner's shirt and things of that nature, all of a sudden I'm the creepy one. Hi-fucking-larious. This leads me to a little story about something that I had repressed for a while. Back in the early stages of the "8-Week Challenge," we were doing our running, and I had been sweating a lot. I lifted the bottom of my shirt up and used it to wipe my forehead. My ex-workout partner, who was running with me, said "Woo-hoo! Take it off!"

(This wasn't going to happen. . .if I went around running shirtless, Greenpeace would show up and try to push my ass into the Gulf of Mexico. But I digress.)

Looking back, I think I'm really offended by this. I can't believe that I kept my feelings about it repressed for as long as I did. But honestly, it was very inappropriate and highly offensive of her to say that. I thought she might have been joking at the time, but regardless of whether she was joking or not, sexual harassment isn't something to joke about.

(How serious am I being in the previous paragraph? It depends on how much more pissed off I get. By the end of this entry, I might have paperwork ready to go to the SARC office.)

So. . .being the fine, upstanding individual that I am, I send her an apology, and ask to be able to discuss things with her after class that afternoon. Her response? Well, let's break that down as well.

There isn’t much to discuss. …I want to work out and not feel uncomfortable or have to show someone how to do the exercises or keep them moving. You have to work out on your own and if you can’t it takes more of my time. I really have too much going on in my life at this time I don’t want to discuss this right now….I need to be able to concentrate on working out to get through this situation I am in right now…I hope you can respect that and leave the situation alone right now so I can still get my workout in to alleviate my stress.

Let's translate. . .

First off, it shows that the whole "uncomfortable" thing is, basically, a steaming pile of crap. Why? Because now she's adding other excuses on top of it.

The other excuses are just as funny. The whole purpose of the FOCUS Group being started, from my understanding, was to HELP PEOPLE. To SHOW THEM what to do.

I'll cop to the fact that my ex-training partner has a lot going on in her life at the moment. Perfectly fine, perfectly understandable. Here's the problem. . .I had worked out with this person for the better part of two months. During that time, I was not only a workout partner, but I was also a friend. When my training partner had a bad day, she would talk while we worked out, and I would listen. . .unfortunately, looking back on it, when I had a bad day. . .well, she would talk while we worked out and I would listen.

During this time, I listened, I offered advice, I offered encouragement. Why? Because I legitimately cared about her and the friendship that we had. That's the kind of person I am. . .if you're my friend, I'm there for you. . .wherever, whenever, whatever. I can sum it up in a quote that I found yesterday. . ."Friendship isn't simply about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it isn't."

If only the entire world acted this way.

Anyway. . .I spent almost two months being there for this person. Not just on the track or in the gym, but any other time she needed to talk. And THIS is the repayment I get.

I get dumped with a completely untrue, completely ludicrous excuse. Particularly ludicrous in light of some of the things I've heard and seen over the past couple of months. Nothing says "friendship" like lies and bullshit.

I get dumped OVER FUCKING E-MAIL. Not even the common courtesy of a face-to-face conversation. For someone that's allegedly so big on customer service, that's a pretty shitty example of it right there.

(Yes, I realize that there's a bit of irony in criticizing for this when I'm doing this on a blog. But, if she doesn't want to discuss it with me, I'll discuss it with all of you. There's the difference.)

Basically, I allowed myself to be used for two months. Apparently I have "sucker" tattooed across my forehead or something. And it appears as though I've outlived my usefulness, because I'm no longer worthy of being a part of this person's life. And you know something?

I'm fine with that.

Completely, totally, 100% fine with that.

Life is too short to spend allowing yourself to be used by people that obviously don't care about you and obviously don't appreciate you. They'll just continue moving on from person to person, taking what they need, and then leaving when the next (allegedly) better thing comes along. I don't have time for people that are all about themselves. . .it doesn't matter what the extenuating circumstances are. When other people care about you, they deserve better. Eventually, people that get through life by simply using other people will look around at their situation and realize that they don't have anybody left to use any more.

Me? I'm surrounded by people that care about me. . .beautiful, loving wife, great co-workers, awesome family. . .I don't need to use people, and I don't need to allow myself to be used. I'm above that. Most people are.

So, am I still going to run a marathon at some point? I don't know. I'll have to see how things go. Keep checking back for updates. To all of you readers, thank you for allowing me to vent.