FOCUS on the Finish

With Friends Like This. . .

2007-08-23T05:01:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess you left me with some feathers in my hand
Did it make it any easier to leave me where I stand?
-Counting Crows, Angels of the Silences

Well. . .that was fun. Fair warning. . .Gonzo's going to work a little on the blue side for this entry, so if you don't like the naughty language, you might want to leave for a bit.

So I'm minding my own business at work on Tuesday, when an e-mail comes into my mailbox from my ex-training partner. The contents of the e-mail were as follows:

SSgt Gates,

Please don't be offended, but I can no longer work out with you. Honestly your staring at me has been bothering me a lot.

Really.

Let's break down just how ludicrous this is, shall we?

First off, I love it when people start e-mails out with phrases like "please don't be offended." Why? Because you know damn well that immediately after those words, you're going to see something offensive. It's sort of like "promise you won't be angry." Like if you go up to someone and say, "Promise you won't be angry, but I fucked your sister." They're gonna be angry.

Second, apparently I'm some sort of pervert now. Which I find absolutely amazing. . .after the stories I've been told about people looking down my ex-workout partner's shirt and things of that nature, all of a sudden I'm the creepy one. Hi-fucking-larious. This leads me to a little story about something that I had repressed for a while. Back in the early stages of the "8-Week Challenge," we were doing our running, and I had been sweating a lot. I lifted the bottom of my shirt up and used it to wipe my forehead. My ex-workout partner, who was running with me, said "Woo-hoo! Take it off!"

(This wasn't going to happen. . .if I went around running shirtless, Greenpeace would show up and try to push my ass into the Gulf of Mexico. But I digress.)

Looking back, I think I'm really offended by this. I can't believe that I kept my feelings about it repressed for as long as I did. But honestly, it was very inappropriate and highly offensive of her to say that. I thought she might have been joking at the time, but regardless of whether she was joking or not, sexual harassment isn't something to joke about.

(How serious am I being in the previous paragraph? It depends on how much more pissed off I get. By the end of this entry, I might have paperwork ready to go to the SARC office.)

So. . .being the fine, upstanding individual that I am, I send her an apology, and ask to be able to discuss things with her after class that afternoon. Her response? Well, let's break that down as well.

There isn’t much to discuss. …I want to work out and not feel uncomfortable or have to show someone how to do the exercises or keep them moving. You have to work out on your own and if you can’t it takes more of my time. I really have too much going on in my life at this time I don’t want to discuss this right now….I need to be able to concentrate on working out to get through this situation I am in right now…I hope you can respect that and leave the situation alone right now so I can still get my workout in to alleviate my stress.

Let's translate. . .

First off, it shows that the whole "uncomfortable" thing is, basically, a steaming pile of crap. Why? Because now she's adding other excuses on top of it.

The other excuses are just as funny. The whole purpose of the FOCUS Group being started, from my understanding, was to HELP PEOPLE. To SHOW THEM what to do.

I'll cop to the fact that my ex-training partner has a lot going on in her life at the moment. Perfectly fine, perfectly understandable. Here's the problem. . .I had worked out with this person for the better part of two months. During that time, I was not only a workout partner, but I was also a friend. When my training partner had a bad day, she would talk while we worked out, and I would listen. . .unfortunately, looking back on it, when I had a bad day. . .well, she would talk while we worked out and I would listen.

During this time, I listened, I offered advice, I offered encouragement. Why? Because I legitimately cared about her and the friendship that we had. That's the kind of person I am. . .if you're my friend, I'm there for you. . .wherever, whenever, whatever. I can sum it up in a quote that I found yesterday. . ."Friendship isn't simply about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it isn't."

If only the entire world acted this way.

Anyway. . .I spent almost two months being there for this person. Not just on the track or in the gym, but any other time she needed to talk. And THIS is the repayment I get.

I get dumped with a completely untrue, completely ludicrous excuse. Particularly ludicrous in light of some of the things I've heard and seen over the past couple of months. Nothing says "friendship" like lies and bullshit.

I get dumped OVER FUCKING E-MAIL. Not even the common courtesy of a face-to-face conversation. For someone that's allegedly so big on customer service, that's a pretty shitty example of it right there.

(Yes, I realize that there's a bit of irony in criticizing for this when I'm doing this on a blog. But, if she doesn't want to discuss it with me, I'll discuss it with all of you. There's the difference.)

Basically, I allowed myself to be used for two months. Apparently I have "sucker" tattooed across my forehead or something. And it appears as though I've outlived my usefulness, because I'm no longer worthy of being a part of this person's life. And you know something?

I'm fine with that.

Completely, totally, 100% fine with that.

Life is too short to spend allowing yourself to be used by people that obviously don't care about you and obviously don't appreciate you. They'll just continue moving on from person to person, taking what they need, and then leaving when the next (allegedly) better thing comes along. I don't have time for people that are all about themselves. . .it doesn't matter what the extenuating circumstances are. When other people care about you, they deserve better. Eventually, people that get through life by simply using other people will look around at their situation and realize that they don't have anybody left to use any more.

Me? I'm surrounded by people that care about me. . .beautiful, loving wife, great co-workers, awesome family. . .I don't need to use people, and I don't need to allow myself to be used. I'm above that. Most people are.

So, am I still going to run a marathon at some point? I don't know. I'll have to see how things go. Keep checking back for updates. To all of you readers, thank you for allowing me to vent.

The Support System

2007-08-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

I ain't in it for the power
And I ain't in it for my health
I ain't in it for the glory of anything at all
And I sure ain't in it for the wealth
But I'm in it 'til it's over and I just can't stop
If you wanna get it done, you've got to do it yourself
-Meat Loaf, Everything Louder than Everything Else

Yesterday's workout basically consisted of weightlifting, sit-ups, things of that nature. As our base has a major inspection starting on Monday, we've had a lot of extra stuff to do in order to prepare for it, which has cut a bit into our workout time.

We were supposed to be joined by another potential marathon partner that was going to start us out on an actual weightlifting program. He had spent a bit of time telling us how sore we were going to be when it was all over and stuff like that. As I've never really done a formal weightlifting plan of any sort before, I was actually looking forward to it.

I arrived at the gym at around 1530. No sign of our workout partner.

My training partner arrived just before 1600. Still no sign of our workout partner.

So, we hit a few lower body machines (leg presses, leg extensions, stuff like that) and did a bunch of sit-ups. . .to the point where when I finished a set of sit-ups and sat down to do more leg extensions, I had a big muscle cramp in my abdominal region. But, after I stretched for a bit, the cramp was gone.

A good workout overall, but I can't help but feel a little disappointed. Originally there was an opportunity to bring another individual into the Jack Byrnes-esque "Circle of Trust," but in the end, it seems that the circle is no larger. . .and the odds are very good that it isn't going to be, either. In order to do something like this, one needs people that one can rely on. . .and if the two of us are the only people that fall under that heading when it comes to this training, then so be it.

Now, if you'll pardon me, I need to find some weight training websites. If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to leave them in the comments section.

Day 2

2007-08-15T18:53:00.000-07:00

If you are going through hell, keep going.
-Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister (1874-1965)

It might not be hell. . .but you can certainly see it from here.

And no, I couldn't come up with a snappier title for this entry. Damn, people, it's hard enough to be this witty and charming all the time. . .you expect originality, too? Pffffffffffffffffffft.

Today, in what was a significant upgrade from our biking experience from yesterday, we embraced the wonder that is the elliptical trainer. All the cardio of running with none of the impact on the knees. We did 30 minutes worth of work. . .we were shooting for 45, but decided that we weren't big fans of pain, so we stopped at 30. We did 4 minutes of "easy" work, just sort of gliding along at 60 RPM or so, followed by a minute of pretty much hauling ass. (Usually, for me, "hauling ass" is a multi-trip process.) I think I topped out at about 110 RPM at one point in the "sprint" portion. In said 30-minute workout, I burned a little over 450 calories, which is nice.

I'm going to have to start writing my training partner's stuff down at some point. After all, there are two of us involved in this. But, that pretty much sums up tonight's entry, folks. Have a good one!

You've Gotta Start Somewhere

2007-08-14T19:06:00.000-07:00

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
-Lao-Tzu, Chinese philosopher

Did I mention that I'm a philosophy major? No? Probably because I haven't taken any actual philosophy classes yet. It still fascinates the hell out of me, though.

Anyway, today was the first step on the road to glory. It was determined that this first step would happen indoors. Why? Because the weather here on the wonderful Mississippi Gulf Coast has been, to use a technical weather term, "f***ing hot" for the last few weeks. As we've determined that the FOCUS Group now basically consists of no more than 4 people (my training partner, myself, another female, and another male that's going to kick-start a weight program for us), we're going to start meeting at the gym rather than battle the 110° heat index too many more times. Hopefully this crap will come to an end soon and we can get to more serious prep for the fitness test in about 6 weeks.

So, I got to the gym first today, and after stretching decided that I'd jump on a stationary bike for a few minutes to warm up. My training partner arrived, and we decided to just stay on the bikes (as the gym had sort of started to fill up at this point). We wound up, once again, being the only "group" members there.

I didn't know it was possible to fall off of a stationary bike, but one of us damn near did it. Twice. I won't mention which of us it was in order to spare her the potential embarrassment.

Today, I was reminded of why I stopped riding bikes shortly after I got a driver's license. About 15 minutes into the workout, I pretty much lost all the feeling between my waist and my knees. Yes, ALL the feeling. I could have gotten Bobbitized, and I wouldn't have known until I was halfway to my house. But, my feet kept going, and soon enough the workout was over. In 30 minutes of pedaling (with only a few minor breaks to adjust my positioning here and there) I did 7.35 miles of biking. Personally, I think that's pretty good, but I'm sure I could always do better.

One day, one victory. That's how you have to take them.

Genesis

2007-08-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for.
-Billy Joel, You May Be Right

Cheesy 80's music references: 2.

So, now that we're here and gathered around the proverbial campfire, let me tell you how this idea came to fruition.

My training partner and I are a part of the same Air Force squadron. As military members, we have mandatory PT a few times a week. However, since the mandatory "staff" PT is, by and large, a complete joke, she created something called the FOCUS Group. The original intent of the FOCUS group was for people who had "marginal" or worse scores on the Air Force Physical Fitness test. There was a point where it was mandatory for people with less than 75 (on a 100-point scale) to attend the FOCUS Group, which is where we met in the first place. For some reason, people have been allowed to slack off from this requirement.

(But the fact that it was the FOCUS Group makes for a real spiffy name for the blog. But I digress.)

So, at the beginning of July, she put an e-mail out to the entire squadron about an 8-week "Fitness Challenge." The goal at the end of said challenge was to be the ability to run for 30 minutes non-stop. Well, although a lot of people showed up at first, it's gotten to the point where we're usually the only ones that show up. We'll get an additional person or two every once in a while, but we've committed to the entire thing so far. Most of the excuses that people come up with are hilarious in their lameness. I understand that people have other commitments and stuff, but PT is something we're supposed to be committed to as well.

Anyway, this past Friday, we were (again) the only two people to show up. Neither of us felt up to running in the oppressive heat, so we decided to just walk a couple of miles and head to the nice, air-conditioned gym to lift weights. So, at one point during our walk, she turns to me and says, "Oh, I forgot to tell you something."

It's rare that anything good follows the words "I forgot to tell you something." In my experience, anyway.

She then proceeds to look at me and say, "We're doing a marathon next year."

My response, naturally, is "Who is this 'we' person?"

So she rattles off the names of a couple of her co-workers, pats me on the back, and says, "Oh, and you, too." After looking around to make sure that nobody had joined us on our walk and that she was, indeed, talking to me, I agreed.

There you have it. Sometime during the next 12 months, the two of us (and whoever else wants to get dragged along for the ride) will be running a marathon. I'm not sure what the level of commitment will be for anyone that wants to join us on the journey, but the two of us are in for sure.

Which marathon will we be running? No idea.

When? No idea. Training will commence in earnest after we log our official Air Force PT tests. Mine comes up in late September/early October.

How? Armed with nothing more than a copy of The Non-Runners Marathon Trainer and a desire to say that we did it. The training program in the book goes for 5 months and takes you up to 18 miles non-stop. A bit short of the 26.2 mile marathon distance, but again, the purpose is not to fly through it or anything. . .just to finish. We start together, we run together, and we cross the finish line together.

Who? The two of us, and anyone that feels compelled to come along for the ride.

It's going to be draining. . .it's going to be painful. . .and you know something? Deep down. . .there's a small part of me that might even like it.

So it is written. . .so it shall come to pass.

Welcome!

2007-08-09T19:37:00.000-07:00

I don't know where I'm goin'
But I sure know where I've been
Hangin' on the promises and songs of yesterday
And I've made up my mind
I ain't wastin' no more time
-Whitesnake, Here I Go Again

Cheesy 80's music references: 1. There will be plenty more.

Hello, and welcome to this remote and (as yet) undecorated corner of the Interweb. This blog is here to track the progress of a couple of friends from the Deep South (not from the Deep South by choice, mind you) as they push themselves towards their goal of completing a full marathon. Not setting land speed records, and not necessarily doing the whole 26.2 miles without walking or anything like that. . .just simply finishing the entire race.

Why document the journey? Hell, why not? It will be something that we can always use to reflect back on this whole thing and remember where we came from and what we built ourselves up to. . .and, hey, if we can inspire a few people to take up the same course of action along the way, that would be even better.

So, we thank you for dropping by, and invite you to continue coming back as we move on towards our goal.